Sinon and Asuna's Unresolved Issues
by Animeddiction
Summary: Did you ever wonder what the girls spectating Kirito and Sinon's match were actually thinking? In this short spin-off, I parody the actions of most of the main female characters to reveal how the scenes in the middle of the second season of SAO would have actually gone down if the crowd had been shown as well as the fighters in the arena.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Sinon, in position to fire straight at Kirito's heart, weakly shakes off the tension between them. Kirito, clearly cocky as all hell from his weak stance, stands there like an idiot, just waiting for one of the bullets to pierce his skin. Growing Frustrated, Sinon yells, "I'm going to hit you without fail!", then continues to miss with all her wasteful gunfire.

Watching intensely from the spectator room, Asuna gasps as Kirito is slightly grazed by one of the more trained shots. "I hope he's okay… Why's he even staying in one spot anyways? Shouldn't he be taking this terrible sniper down by now?" Trying to make sense of their friend's actions, Asuna's companions give their own reasons for why Kirito would do such a thing during the tournament. His cousin Leafa exclaims, "Maybe he's just tired of all the pressure this game has been putting on him lately. He just needs some rest is all." Interrupting the girl in the bright green soldier outfit, Lisbeth argues, "There's no way he's giving up on this fight. There must be something much stranger going on here."

Out of nowhere the opponents stop mid-fight. Sinon, tearing up on her way to speaking with Kirito, asks, "Does this battle mean anything to you?" Seeing the anti-climactic pause taking place, the crowd observing grows weary of the drama. One of the guys shouts, "Just get over with it already! We're all waiting here!" Not able to hear the crowd's sure unrest, the cloaked fighter replies, "Let's play a game then." Picking up an empty shell off the dusty battleground, the beta tester continues, "If you can shoot me before this bullet touches the ground, then you win. If I cover the ground to get close enough with a melee weapon, I win." Agreeing to the terms of their challenge, Sinon nods and takes aim at the man again. The crowd roars, "What does a test of timing have to do with anything? Just end this match already!"

Letting go of the sharp piece of metal, Kirito launches himself toward the woman, seemingly ready to slice through her. Excited, one of the men watching lets out a battle cry, "Huza! Destroy her with your lightsaber man!" After dodging round after round of Sinon's rifle, Kirito closes the distance and they come face to face. A kid in the back of the crowd pushing through the rest to see the finale disappointedly says, "Aw man…not this again." Inches away from the enemy, Kirito whispers, "I will not kill you. I refuse to do so." Then he hugs Sinon affectionately, forgetting about the audience, which is only waiting around still for another kill. A brute of a player blurts out in disgust, "You can never trust your opponent. What is this idiot doing now? This is no time for romance. This is war!" Afterwards, Kirito declares himself the winner of the showdown and asks his friend, "Would you mind surrendering? I don't like taking out girls." Seeing the exhausted woman blushing, the crowd goes wild with accusations of the kid being a total creep. "How dare she tell her such a thing? That is no way to treat a woman in her vulnerable position!"

Suddenly, she pushes herself off of him, exclaiming that she'll defeat him next time they meet in game. Seeing as the round had just unexpectedly finished, Asuna and her dearest friends stand there with mouths wide open. Asuna angrily states, "What the hell was that all about? We are married for god sake! Is this lady trying to steal him away from me now?" Next, Lizbeth says, "Well that was strange. I thought for sure he was going to finish her off, not flirt with her more. What's gotten into his rampant teenage mind these days?" Leafa then jumps into the conversation, "Yeah. Why can't he see who he truly loves? I mean you of course, Asuna!" Holding her face in her hands disapprovingly, Silica adds, "Geez. She's such a klutz. And I thought I had low self-esteem." The other people observing soon dissipate with a few impatient grunts and sighs.

Soon, the tournament is moved toward the final arena. All the remaining players fight to be the last one standing. With the crowd focused on the hot girl from earlier, Sinon stealthily takes out three of the lower ranking gunners. The spectators cheer in appreciation for her willingness to fight again, shaking away their doubts from earlier, eager to see all she might be capable of. With the crowd turning silent, Sinon turns around, expecting a lone spy to be following her. Right as she has her next target locked in her sights, Kirito appears In front of the muzzle, knocking the pistol out of her hand and throwing her to the ground. Staying on top of the woman, Kirito tells her to stay hidden.

Confused by the unneeded tension between these two supposed female lovers, the men and women alike yell at the screen, wishing for them to finally kill each other. Silica mutters under her breath, "What is up with that blue haired young woman? Did they fall in love this quickly again? She's going to be in for a big surprise once she finds out that's a guy she's with." Suspecting the scene to be that of betrayal between their usually uncontested relationship, Asuna shouts, "If only I could teleport in there and make that slut disappear for good…" Shocked by her friend's informal tone, Lizbeth responds with, "Oh, come on now. There could still be a perfectly good reason for all this whole mess, just you wait and see." Angry at the swordsmith's passive view, the guild leader opposes the innocent idea of Kirito and Sinon's encounters. "There's no reason for him to be acting this way around her. With my luck so far, what we'll see next is those two love birds making out in front of the hidden cameras for everyone to see!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Fast-forwarding over the grand reveal of death gun and his strategic plan the awkward couple devise to stop him, Asuna and her friends watch as Kirito continues to seduce the new, overly shy player. Seeing as he lovingly pats Sinon's shoulder, then walk upstairs, his wife rambles on about the devil who stole her husband away this day. "How much more must I endure? This is taking forever!" Dumbfounded, Silica points out, "And what kind of display of affection is that? She's a human being, not a household pet. She does have fluffy animal ears though…" Fumbling to make sense of the affair, Lizbeth gives up on reassuring the group that Kirito doesn't in fact love this mystery woman. "I just don't know anymore, okay!? This is way too weird for me to figure out. I'm going to go grab a drink. See you guys later." The girls wave her off and say with a wink, "Bye, Liz. We'll keep an eye out for any sudden advances while you are gone then."

Later on in the arena, Kirito tells Sinon that she is the only reason he can fight fearlessly, because she's watching over him from afar. At this point, Asuna becomes delirious, sprouting rude remarks at the partners through the display screen. "I'm watching you too, you bastard! Why don't you ever think about me every once in a while? It's not like we're married or anything!" Silica continues to cover her eyes, wanting the badly planned timing of their friend's cheating to be over already. Leafa holds her tongue, but would throw a quite a few foul accusations at her brother if no one was around.

Praying for a miracle to sweep this helpless girl off the battlefield, the gossipy bunch see a masked opponent paralyzing the wretched woman and preparing to end her life. Seeing this as an opportunity to get rid of the inconsiderate player, these friends cheer the ambusher on toward killing another unprepared battler. "Finally, some closure in this god-awful fight." Just as the player's health bar reaches the red zone, a dark figure emerges out of the massive dust cloud. Pointing in disbelief, the girls spot Kirito approaching the masked foe. He then drags Sinon to safety, angering the people watching immensely. Losing track of his prey, death gun moves on to much easier targets for now.

Having made it out alive from the highly dangerous area, both partners decide to lay low in a nearby cave entrance. Attempting to comfort Sinon after a hard-fought battle, Kirito holds her hand gently. Apparently not accepting the gesture well, the soldier strikes the kid repeatedly in the chest, letting all her suppressed fury flow out from earlier. Then she says, "You know nothing about me!" Studying the girl's frantic reaction, Silica says, "This lady must be insane to mess with Kirito like that. But I thought that he'd know better than to stick with this cat eared troublemaker again after all they'd been through." Siding with her friend, the girl with the blue outfit agrees, "Serves him right! Treating someone like trash makes him deserve this cruel judgement, even from this crazy sniper lady!" Confused, Leafa admits, "well he's never been this insensitive to me before and we live in the same house together. Maybe this game has changed him mentally somehow."

Reluctant to see how the scene turns out, the people begin to clutch their fists, enraged as Sinon rests her head on Kirito's lap, seemingly broken from her last bit of energy spent on surviving. Spotting one of the cameras circling above them, Kirito mentions, "You know, I wonder if the people watching us think we're both girls. That would be funny, right Sinon?" Overhearing the truth about kid's actual sexuality, the room bursts out into whispers and nervous laughter as they realize that the player on screen is actually a young, naive boy in an obviously female-like avatar's body. Running out of brain power to stay frustrated with this devious young man, Asuna threatens him through the screen. "They'll be hell to pay when you are back here with me! I swear my own life on it!"


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3

After surpassing the deadly trials and putting an end to death gun's awfully sadistic plan, the two physically worn out players take off their nerve gear and head to the pub. Meeting up with the rest of the gang, Kirito and Sinon are wonderfully surprised by confetti and long spurts of cheering all around when they enter the welcoming place. Seeing all of their lively companions finally together again in the real world, the two kids smile at each other blissfully and rush toward the party. Asuna, staring at Sinon intently, waves her theoretical husband over to talk to him alone at an empty table away from everyone else.

When Kirito arrived in hearing range of his spouse, he listens as the flustered woman curses him out about earlier. "What the hell do you think you're doing bringing that klutz here? Don't you know you've already caused enough of an issue between us today? I'm not coming anywhere near that wench!" Frozen in thought, Kirito urges Asuna to reason with his concise explanation of what happened back there. "Look, she has had a rough childhood and I'm trying to help her cope with the past…" Cutting him off unapologetically, the long-haired girl barks, "Just because she's pretty doesn't mean she gets to have you all to herself!" Halted by the lack of communication between him and Asuna, Kirito continues, "All to herself…I was hardly affected by her charms at all. It was nothing like that. We were just playing around. My god you are certainly jealous of our short partnership together."

Determined to make this man crack under the pressure of their tense situation, Asuna pulls out her trusty phone and pushes play on a video recording from when he was resting on the rocky ground. At a loss for words, Kirito defends his flirtatious nature on the small screen. "That was all for show honey…shits and giggles to entertain our audience with until the fighting returned back to normal." Seeing a hole in her lover's armor, the woman strikes hard and fast at his excuse. "Yeah. Well what about the time you let that girl lay on your leg? That couldn't have been staged as well." Angered past the point of focusing on her first target, Asuna swings around and stands in front of Sinon. "So I heard you have the hots for my friend. Do you plan on causing me any more trouble in game or otherwise?" Peeking over her shoulder at Kirito, the cat girl answers, "No. None at all. I just need someone to cling onto still while I recover." Feeling battered away from her offensive position, Asuna states, "There is no way I'll ever let you get close to him in that way anymore. You are just another emotional wreck which happened to fall right into his lap, if you know what I mean. Now there will be no one to pick up the pieces you've lost along the way."

Sobbing from the direct insult, Sinon sadly tells of her own terrifying experience at the bank as a child. When she's finished talking, the long-haired girl wipes away a few tears and pleads for this person's forgiveness. "God…I'm so sorry that happened to you at such a vibrant age. If I'd only known sooner, I would have acted completely different around you today." Smiling weakly from such a weight being lifted off her tired shoulders, Sinon responds with, "Its okay. I must have looked really pathetic out there to you. Hopefully now you'll understand my fragile moments better."

Weaving in and out of the conversation, Kirito hugs the two girls and offers to walk with Sinon to her house. Knowing this to be an entirely different reaction made by her friend, Asuna sympathizes with the woman and goes about her day.

Seeing the commotion and hearing the matter at hand, the remaining people all attempt to comfort the lost soul. First the dragon tamer introduces herself to Sinon. "Hello. My name's Silica. Sorry for judging you so harshly. I just thought you had the motive of a typical hormonal teen. I now see where I was wrong in all this." Sensing an unexpectedly new shower of attention, Sinon laughs her nervousness off and says, "Don't sweat it. I'm sure anyone would have thought the same thing about me. It's no big deal." Next, the swordsmith greets the woman. "Glad to meet you. My name's Lizbeth. It's good to see that you are obtaining new strength away from your traumatic memories." Sighing with relief at the genuine comment on her over-all well-being, the woman adds, "If you gals never found me, I'd still be isolating myself in my own little world right now. So yeah, I think I'm doing alright compared to before I met you all." Finally, Leafa approaches her and states, "No wonder you were acting so strange in the arena. Just remember to not fool around with my cousin while I'm gone." Sinon nods in agrees to the fair deal. "Duly noted miss." After the confusion has cleared up, Silica, Leafa, and Lizbeth all say their respectful goodbyes and exit the tavern feeling hopeful for their new friend's success in the wider world outside. Filling up with joy from making so many new friends, Sinon leaves, happily anticipating their next official meeting in the virtual world.


End file.
